November 5, 2011 § Leave a Comment
I figure it’s time for my annual blog post.
But oh my word, where to even start.
I’m so grateful. So way beyond grateful. In my 35 weeks of pregnancy I never thought it would be this good, and I would be this grateful. I dare say I don’t think I knew love before the birth of my son – and even now I probably only know a tiny little portion of our Father’s love.
Paris :hearts: came to us quicker than we had thought. 35+1 I was when the doctors recommended we delivered him because of issues with the flow of blood in the umbilical cord, the one thing connecting us, the one thing that helped me nurture him. I managed to get out of a cesarean that day. But the next morning it didn’t look so good, and the next thing I knew I was being cut and pulled at.
With the curtain hanging over my chest I had no idea what was going on, my husband had disappeared, ready with the camera. I felt very, well, not much different than I had felt the last 24 hours. Quite helpless. Then the moment that I didn’t know would change my life came. He cried for the first time. I couldn’t see him. But I could hear him. Him, who in that second, took my whole heart, who I knew then I would give everything I have for.
I’ve never known love like this, and I’m so grateful. I’m so grateful I can know this love, I’m so grateful to have his love. And I’m so grateful for our Father’s love. To give His one and only Son for us, I still can’t understand it. But now it’s because I could never sacrifice my own son like that.